8 Birth Control Methods Of The Distant Past

Although the modern vagina is awash in birth-control pills, abortion clinics, condoms, IUDs, spermicides, and a tutti-frutti array of other high-tech methods for preventing or ending pregnancy, things weren’t always this easy.

The oldest historical reference I could find to humans using birth control is a French cave painting estimated to be 12,000-15,000 years old that purports to show a man wearing some sort of condom-like device, although to me it merely looks like a guy with a pointed dick trying to fuck a wildebeest. To each their own, I suppose. Different strokes and all that. Whatever gets you through the night.

There is a veritable cornucopia, plethora, bumper crop, mother lode, or honeypot—take your pick—of information online alleging that for millennia, human females have attempted to avoid becoming totes preggers. I can’t vouch for the veracity of any of it—I haven’t been alive for that long—but here’s a bounteous roundup of what’s being alleged.